Yay! Day one.

Ah, here we go again. Kicking off a new blog.

I had the idea for the name of this blog a few days ago, after walking into the ASU bookstore and seeing their ridiculous new slogan - “Fear the Fork” plastered across the front of a t-shirt in multiple colors. Immediately, the image of an obese woman sitting down at the dinner table popped into my head.

I originally dismissed the idea of starting a new blog. I already have two – one that I update almost daily, and the other that I update when I have something I need to get out, or need to ask a select group of friends for advice. So instead of starting this, I decided to change all my “workout” tags to “fear the fork” tags on my public blog.

Then this morning, I realized I wanted to do more with it. So here I am! Logging my breakfast for the first time. I know this is going to seem like a lot of food. I leave for school around 10AM and don't get out of class until 3. I only have one short break between classes, and I usually bring something like a granola bar and maybe some fruit – definitely not anything big enough to count as a real lunch. So I eat a larger breakfast to help tide me over. (That, and I got used to eating a LOT of food on vacation.)

Breakfast this morning:

2 servings of steel-cut oats with approx. 1Tbsp honey and probably ½c. blueberries

2 slices cinnamon toast with apple butter.

It's also 8:30 in the morning and I'm working on finishing off my first water bottle of the day.

I did not end up doing any organized exercise yesterday. I did a lot of walking across campus, then some stretching at home combined with a little house work. Today, I am signed up for a Ballerobica class. I am going to try to get some sort of additional exercise at home – either some yoga or going for a run in the little gym here.

As soon as I can find my measuring tape, I will be posting measurements here to accompany my daily food and exercise logs. I don't have a scale (the battery corroded in the flood back in April) and I think I'm pretty glad. I might cry if I stepped on a scale right now.

My first goal is to fit back in my clothes.

My second goal is to be 125 lbs.

My ultimate goal is to be under 120, and to be able to run a mile without stopping. (For an asthmatic, that's a difficult task!)

I also want to complete a half-marathon some time in the next two years so if this goes well and I decide to continue it, I may switch the focus in the future to training. I think it goes without saying that I'm nowhere near ready to start training now.

A little background on me: I am recovered from a compulsive exercise / eating disorder but have a very unhealthy relationship with my body (and with food), and very low self-esteem. Because of my past, I gain weight very easily. I went from sub-120 in February to 130 in May, probably up to 135 in June (I haven't logged anything since June 2^nd), and then just got back from a month-long vacation to Europe (Italy, Austria, Czech Republic, and Poland) where I would guess I gained about 10 lbs. Most of my pants I can't pull over my butt (thankfully that's all muscle from doing so much walking!) but the ones I can pull on don't fit. Some barely button. Some button but are extremely unflattering. You get the picture. I am no longer the size two I was before vacation, and that needs to change! You can probably imagine how humiliating it is to get home from a month's vacation and only be able to wear skirts and dresses. I have one pair of shorts I have been able to wear – the ones I took on my trip with me. I'm pretty disappointed in myself.

So there you have it! A little bit about me, why I'm trying to lose weight, some of my goals, and how I plan to accomplish them! Welcome on board! I look forward to having people hold me accountable. :)